One of a Rabbi's many functions is to provide counseling. Life can be tough and everyone goes through challenges. During times of difficulties it's always helpful to have a friend who will will listen. When the going gets tough for any one in the hockey world, feel free to come see The Rabbi, my door is always open and my couch is real comfortable!
Today's first patient is Lindy Ruff, coach of the Buffalo Sabres who just lost 2 straight games to the NY Rangers at the Garden:
Rabbi: Good morning Lindy how are you?
Lindy: I'm perfect, absolutely great, fantastic, couldn't be better. The sun's shining and it's a great day. “I think everybody, and maybe I’m including ....you are looking at it like we should be a little bit down. There’s nothing to be down about.”- (based on an actual quote).
Rabbi: (thinking to myself: Wow! A simple "Thank you, I'm fine" would've done the trick!). Lindy, tell me what's on your mind.
Lindy: (Nervously) I told you, I'm fantastic, great, perfect. It's a beautiful day. What are you implying? Why do you assume something's wrong. I'm not down, I'm confident in my team. Everybody expects us to be down because we lost 2 in a row. ( Not making eye contact) But I'll tell you the truth, we're exactly where we want to be, tied at 2 heading back to Buffalo. I mean, do you know how fast we are? We're so fast. And, in case you forgot, I, I mean we, won the President's Trophy.
Rabbi: Lindy, I'm just going out on a limb here, but you seem a little nervous. I want you to know that I'm not being--
Lindy: (interrupting me in mid sentence while shouting) I'm not nervous. Why should I be nervous. We won the President's trophy and we're fast. The Rangers don't even belong in the same league as us. We are the cream of the crop, no matter what Tom Renney says. And, by the way Tom Renney is NOT better than me. Why do you keep implying that I'm being out-coached?
Rabbi: (thinking to myself: o.k., we've got some issues here!). Lindy, I never implied anything of the---
Lindy: (interrupting again) I'm in total control of this series. we're right where we want to be. After game 3 I told the guys to start playing ugly hockey. But then after the game I realized that this is the new NHL. Nobody plays ugly in the playoffs anymore. It's all about skill and speed and finesse. We swarm on the forecheck but we don't need to actually hit anymore, this is a new game. We anticipated the new NHL better than any other team. That's why we didn't waste any roster spots on "goons" like Sean Avery who could hit. We skate, and swarm, and rush. In todays NHL that's what it takes to win. Why waste energy fighting through checks, throwing the body or fighting in the corners. Today's game is played off the rush and that's what we do better than anyone. And if you disagree with me, just look at the stats, scoring is up, the game is not played in the corners anymore it's played on the rush. And we're faster than anyone on the rush. Just look at all the high scoring playoff games your seeing this season.
Rabbi: Actually Lindy, most playoff games thus far have been low---
Lindy: (Interrupting yet again). So that's why I decided to get the team back on track. We're gonna play Buffalo Sabres playoff hockey: high risk-high reward, fast skating and rushing hockey. No more of this physical forechecking, fighting along the boards, throwing the puck on net and fighting to get traffic in front of Lundqvist. No way, we're playing in the NEW NHL. And we're so freakin' fast. That's why I'm putting Max Afinogenov back in the lineup, he's a playoff warrior, exactly the type of guy that you need to win the Stanley Cup in the new NHL.
Rabbi: (thinking to myself: o.k. he's nuts!)
Lindy: (Ranting and raving and nervously laughing): That's why I can't wait to eliminate the Rangers. Bring on Ottawa. They were stupid enough to waste roster spots on some tough two way players. What do they think this is 1998?!?! They just didn't adjust to the new NHL like we did. Then its off to the Finals. We'll probably get to play the Ducks. I can't wait to kick their butts. How will a guy like Chris Pronger adjust to my new age superstars? Briere, Drury, Afinogenov, we're so deep!!! and fast!!! What's Pronger gonna do, hit us!! come on, That's so 1990's.
Rabbi: (thinking to myself: I gotta get out of here!). O.K. Lindy, I'm glad your in such a good place (thinking to myself: yeah and I'm the next Wayne Gretzky despite my 5'7 200lb. frame!!!). Good luck and I wish you continued success.
Lindy: (blank expression on his face). We are so fast. Who am I kidding. We're not right where we want to be. Yeah, the sun is shining but its a crappy day to be a Sabre. We played like crap against a scrappy Islander team. We've gotten outplayed by the Rangers in this entire series except for parts of game 1 and the last 10 minutes of game 4. We're lucky were not down 3 games to 1 here. (Sobbing like a little girl) I don't know what to do. After game 3 I told the guys to play old time "ugly" playoff hockey. But who am I kidding, we don't have the horses for that kind of a game. We were so eager to get ahead of the curve with all the new rules that opened up the game we totally overlooked the fact that the playoffs still require old fashioned hockey. Maybe you don't have to trap, but apparently you still need to fight battles for the puck. I can't believe I never got that memo. So after game 4 I realized that we can't play "old school playoff hockey". All I could do is let the guys play to their strengths and hope for the best. (Sobbing, hiccuping and gasping for air), so I put on a show for the media and for my players, making believe that I thought that things were going perfectly according to plan. We're right where we want to be, the sun is shining, it's a great day, all we need to do is get back to our fast paced attacking game, yada yada yada. I think it was brilliant coaching on my part. Everyone bought it and it made my team more confident. I won the coach of the year award last year you know.
Rabbi: Let's talk about the first part of your previous statement: I'm happy to hear you acknowledge reality. It's important for a person to accept life as it is, to live life on life's terms. I'm even happier to hear you say that you're going to let your players play to their strengths and hope for the best. That's one of the keys to leading a happy, peaceful and fulfilling life: self acceptance- recognizing your strengths and weaknesses and doing your best to succeed while recognizing that the results are out of your control. In other words, put in your foot work and trust G-d to take care of the results. But the second part of what you said, that everyone bought into your act of confidence and optimism, well, how can I put this? (thinking to myself: be gentle he's coming to you for help and support, he's one of G-d's children, be nice to him. Then thinking to myself: yeah but I'm a Ranger fan and this is playoff hockey!!!!) Are you kidding me?!?! You deserve the same award Halle Berry won for her performance in Cat Woman!! By the way Lindy, Tom Renney is better than you.
Lindy: (Sobbing) But....I.....but...but....we're so fast.....and....and...I...I'm the coach of the year.
Rabbi: Yeah, and I'm a real Rabbi!!!-Right!!! Let's go Rangers!!!
Lindy: (Wipes his runny nose with his sleeve and runs out crying)
Rabbi: (Thinking to myself: Another successful counseling session. I think I really helped him. Ryan Miller left me a voice mail saying he wanted to come in and talk. Let's see if I can crush him, I mean squeeze him in later!)
Disclaimer: Laughter is the best medicine. Hockey's the best, but at the end of the day it's just a game. If we can't step back and laugh a little then what's the point! By the way, I'm obviously not a real Rabbi.
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